


Prison Bitch

by Crizz



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:16:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2431853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizz/pseuds/Crizz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay guys~ I’m sure we heard the (5 seconds) Yunho 'dating' rumor. Seriously though.. SHORTEST time rumor ever~! =.=;;;</p>
<p>ANYHOO,</p>
<p>here’s a crack fic for all of you that just recovered from the sudden ‘heart attack' caused by the rumor ^^ </p>
<p>There’s a previous Jae/Ho version of this too (yes, written by moi~)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prison Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> \- PLEASE listen to the song when you're reading this (I posted the YouTube link for you guys)  
> \- Disclaimer: Song belongs to.. uh.. Rodney Carrington??

 

 

 

 

*******************

**PRISON BITCH**

*******************

Seodaemun Correction Facility a.k.a ‘Guantánamo Bay’ of South Korea – reserved only for the toughest, most hardcore criminals that were convicted with worst of the worst of crimes.

 

Among all these law offenders, none are more terrible, hardcore and fearsome than the Cho brothers. Stylish and model-like, don’t let their looks fool you into sense of security. For these two are the coldest strongest sons of bitch that one would pray to never meet. One minute they could torture, skin and ultimately kill a man without batting an eyelash and the very next minute casually host a lavish party at their mansion without a single remorse in their eyes.  


Cho Changmin and Cho Siwon.  


Only due to a jealous traitor in the midst of their underground gang that enable for the police force to finally pinned the brothers to a single crime (among  **many** that they’ve committed) and to put them away in prison. And even then, the Cho’s family influence had the brothers doing mere time of two years instead of going straight for death sentence as they richly deserve. The police tried to get their informant to spill some more of the boys secret but the man had mysteriously vanished to the frustration of the lead detective ( some 10 years later traces of human bones were found stuck in a fisherman’s net – natural elements had made it impossible to identify the remains).

 

Needless to say, the Cho brothers are top dogs in the prison hierarchy. No one dares to go against them – not even any of the guards.

 

_Prison?_

Hah! It’s more of a  **vacation**  time for them. Their prison cell looks more like a hotel suite than typical room.

 

And as usual in prison, every alpha would have their partner.. a ‘ _bitch’_  (if you want a cruder term) to keep those lonely cold nights hot and heavy. Being top dogs themselves, Changmin and Siwon have more than their fair share of willing partners. Not that  _they_  just willingly take whoever that offers their asses up, mind you.

 

Nope, these two have their standards afterall.. And currently they have their eyes set on two newbies: Jung Yunho and Kim Heechul. Never had the brothers met anyone who has sweeter cheeks than these two honeys – even in the outside world. They already arranged for the two best friends to be transferred to their cell. No one knew what those two were in for – they look too innocent and naïve to do any hard crime that would guarantee you a place in Seodaemun.

 

Changmin and Siwon didn’t care, they’d already fallen hard with these two and they do know that there’s no way they going to let Yunho and Heechul go even after they finish serving time.

 

Only one problem though, how to let those two know how serious Changmin and Siwon are about them? That they would rather shoot, kick and  _kill_  Yunho and Heechul than let them go and be with someone else? How those two are Changmin and Siwon’ bitches and that’s how it’s going to be forever? Most of all, how to make those two to  **stop**  ignoring Changmin and Siwon during daytime (they’re sweet and cuddly enough once the light goes out)? They should be in the private dining room with the Cho brothers -  _not_  mingling and being friendly with every other inmates!  


Hmm…. This calls for some romantic move.

 

*********************** ************************ **********************  
  
  
“Everyone, could I have your attention please..”  


It was just another dinner hour at the harshest prison in South Korea. All the inmates were just happily chatting to each other and ‘ _enjoying_ ’ their unrecognizable lumps of  _something_  dinner.

 

No one noticed how weird it was that there’re no guard at all in the mess hall. And of course, everybody just ignored the small mousy man that’s been trying to get their attention for the past 5 minutes.

 

“Hmm.. What is this Pyong Il? Didn’t we tell you to make sure everyone’s ready before we get here? Is everyone’s a rebel nowadays? What do you think, Siwon-hyung?~”

 

The silky smooth voice cut through the noisy hall like hot knife into butter. Suddenly there was just dead silence that one could even hear a pin drop. No one dares to look up at the two brothers – except two men who are rolling their eyes at all this dramatics.

 

Seeing their sweethearts, Siwon and Changmin’s expressions turned lovesick goofy with dopey grin.

 

“I.. I’m sorry, Sirs.. I tried..”

PyongIl tried to explained fearfully but the poor man was shoved away by Changmin.

 

“Yeah.. yeah.. whatever.. Go away.”

He gestured behind him,

“Boys! Hit it!!”

 

The sounds of music starting echoed through the hall. As everyone looked around in bafflement, all the lights were turned off suddenly and only a spotlight shines on both Changmin and Siwon.

 

Siwon:

> _“They said our love is taboo,_   
> _That what we’re doing is wrong._   
> _But I don’t care what they said,_   
> _‘Cause my love is so strong.”_

 

Heechul is looking wide-eyed at the approaching Siwon. He turned to ask his friend, Yunho what the hell’s going on – only to see Yunho has his own stuff to worry about too. The younger Cho brother had somehow magically appeared in front of Yunho, holds one of his hands and kiss the back of it gently. Yunho looked like he’s been smacked though..

 

Changmin:

> _“They tell us we should be ashamed_   
> _We’re not husband and wife._   
> _But I cherish each moment with you._   
> _I’m so glad you’re in my life.”_

 

Yunho and Heechul glanced at each other and promptly stood up and try to walk away from the embarrassing scene of their… ‘ _partners_ ’ confessing their affection to the whole Seodaemun Prison community.

Before they could get far, they were startled half out of their life when three large burly men suddenly popped out from the crowd and jumped in front of them and started crooning:

 

Men:

> _“Do – Do – Do – Do_   
> _Do-Do Do – Do Do –Do_   
> _Do – Do – Do – Do_   
> _Do-Do Do – Do Do –Do”_

 

All other inmates’ mouths dropped open, it’s almost laughable to see three huge bouncer-like men (complete with rose tattoos on bulging biceps) swaying their arms and hips around and ‘ _do do do_ ’ing like cheap backup Hawaiian dancers. Their completely stoic faces didn’t help making the situation less funny. Yunho clapped a hand across his mouth as a giggle threatens to burst out. Heechul could only blinked.

 

Siwon:

> _“You’re my prison bitch.. my prison bitch,_   
> _You’re not like other men._   
> _I’m glad we share a prison cell, (Heechul *mumbling*: ‘Yeah right! You **bribed**  the guard to transfer me!’)_   
> _When lights go out at 10! (Here Heechul rubbed his ass ruefully)_   
> _I can’t escape the way I feel,_   
> _Now that would be a crime._   
> _As long as I am doing you,_   
> _I don’t mind doing time!”_

 

Changmin:

> _“Cuz you’re my prison bitch.. my prison bitch,  
>  And I have no regrets.  
>  I got you for a candy bar and a pack of cigarettes._  (Yunho gasped indignantly: ‘Yah! Was that how much you think I’m only worth?!’ Changmin: ‘No pookie! I just needed it to rhyme!’)  
>  _At first you were resistant_  (Yunho: ‘Of course! I’m not gay!’)  
>  _But now you’re my ‘friend’_  (Changmin *happily*: ‘Aww Pookie~ You know you love it!’)  
>  _I knew I would get you in the end..”_

 

Men:

> _“Oo Whoa whoa..  
>  Prison bitch!_  (Heechul/Yunho: ‘Stop calling us that!’)  
>  _Do-Do-Do..  
>  Prison bitch!_  (Heechul: ‘Argh! Let me at ‘em!’ Yunho: ‘No Chullie-hyung.. get a hold of yourself~’)  
>  _Do-Do-Do..”_

 

 

Siwon:

> _“I guess that you were send from up above~”_  (*dopey grin at his baby Heechullie. Heechul just rolled his eyes in exasperation.)

 

 

Men:

> _“Yeeaah~..  
>  Prison bitch!  
>  Do-Do-Do..  
>  Prison bitch!_  (Heechul/Yunho: ’..….’)  
>  _O-ooo-oo-ooo_  (Inmates/Heechul/Yunho/Siwon/Changmin/Other-two-backup-singers men: ‘ **O.O** ’ in awe of the middle man ultra-soprano voice)

 

Changmin:

> _“And now you’re my prisoner of looovvee~..!”_  (Went to Yunho and pinched his butt)

 

 

Yunho and Heechul sighed.. Guess it’s their turn now..

 

 

Yunho:

> _“I’m your prison bitch.. your prison bitch,  
>  And you’re a sex machine.. _ (Changmin *nodding proudly*: ‘Uh-ha!’)  
>  _I only have but one request,  
>  How ‘bout some Vaseline? _ (Yunho glared at Changmin – who’s still looking proud of himself)  
>  _I’m tired of this prison cell,  
>  I need to get away._  (He broke loose of the other’s embrace and went to Heechul)  
>  _They sentenced me to 7 years.._  (Changmin: ‘I’ll get you out in two, pookie-pie!’)  
>  _Not 7 times a day!”_  (Murmurs of amazement went through the crowd.. That younger Cho brother have some serious awesome stamina..)

 

Heechul:

> _“I’m your prison bitch.. your prison bitch,  
>  You nymphomaniac! _ (Siwon *blinked*: ‘I have no idea what it means, but I like it~ C’mere baby!’)  
>  _I really hate these knockers,  
>  That you tattooed on my back!_  (Siwon: ‘But baby, how else am I suppose to let others know that you’re mine?~’ )  
>  _I thought that I could break away_  
>  _But now I’m losing hope.._  
>  _God, I’m tired of pickin’ up the soap~”_  (Yunho nodded in total sympathetic understanding)
> 
>  

 

Men (and all other inmates are joining in now too – hey.the song is actually quite catchy):

> _“Bend over,  
>  Prison bitch!  
>  Do-Do-Do.._  (Heechul/Yunho: =.=;;)  
>  _Prison bitch!_  
>  Do-Do-Do”

 

 

Changmin/Siwon:

> _“Turn out the lights cuz I can hardly wait~”_  (Heechul/Yunho again tried to run away from those two but were stopped by the singing, dancing crowd)

 

 

Everyone (except Heechul/Yunho):

> _”Prison bitch!_   
> _Do-Do-Do.._   
> _Prison bitch!_   
> _Do-Do-Do..”_

 

Heechul (turned to Yunho):

> _“When I get out,_  
>  _I’m ready to go straight~_ ”
> 
>  

 

Siwon:

> _“You’re my prison bitch.. my prison bitch,_  (He grabbed Heechul by the waist and drew him close. Beside them, Changmin did the same thing to Yunho)
> 
>  
> 
>  

Changmin:

> _“I’ll never say goodbye..”_  (He kissed the chubby cheek affectionately)

 

 

Siwon:

> _“You’re not like all the others..”_  (He looked at Changmin and nodded. Time for plan B of Operation Taming Hee/Yun).

 

 

Changmin:

> _“Too bad they had to die…”_  (sad sigh and a hint in the voice)

 

 

Heechul/Yunho *blinked as the implication sank in their brain*.

 

 

Heechul *gulping*:

> _“On second thought I think I’ll stay.._  
>  _If you want me toooo~…_  (frantically signed over to Yunho who quickly went over to Changmin and looped his arms around the younger man)

 

 

Yunho:

> _“Your prison bitch is never leaving…”_

 

 

Heechul/Yunho (each is hugging their partners): 

> _“Yoouuuu…~”_

 

 

Changmin *gleefully*:

> _“Yeah! At first you’re my cell mate, but now you’re my soul mate!  
>  So, Come here baby!”_  (started to drag the other to their cell)

 

 

Yunho:

> _“Oh no, not again!_  (Yunho: ‘My butt’s still sore from this afternoon!’)  
>  _Now I know why they called you a ‘hardened criminal’”_

 

 

Siwon *slings Heechul on his shoulder and pinched the flat ass*:

> _“Hang on, you’re about to find out why they call this.. ‘The Pokey’_  (lecherous grin).

 

The Cho brothers exited the mess hall with their still struggling ‘ **catch** ’.

 

Everyone: “ **O.O** ”

 

That night, everyone at Seodaemun Correction Facility will have another sleepless night – thanks to two baritones-suddenly-turned-sopranos: Jung Yunho and Kim Heechul.

 

_“_ _ooOOOOOooo-OOOO-OOO-OOOooo.._ _”_

  
  
**~finis~**

**Author's Note:**

> \- C/C??  
> \- Tumbler people doesn't like this fic at all though~* orz


End file.
